“It just felt like a battlefield,” she recalled. “It felt like everybody was on vents and everyone was so sick and there was no room and wasn’t enough staff. It was very chaotic.”
Emergency room staff members are used to seeing their interventions make a difference. Now, she said, “it feels like you are not making any progress.”
When she came home that day, she told Adam that maybe she should quit.
“But then what — Adam would live in a hotel and I wouldn’t see him for months?” she said. “He wouldn’t see his son for months? To take him away from him, when he comes home looking shellshocked after every shift, it doesn’t feel right.”
“There comes some guilt too,” she said, choking back tears. “This need to help all these people, but at same time what if doing so you are hurting your own family? It’s tough.”
If anything were to happen to Nolan, Neena said, “it would be devastating.”
So they all take their temperatures twice a day and hope for the best. On their days off together, they take Nolan to the park.
The night they sat on the couch ironing out a will and deciding on a guardian for Nolan, they had to go three deep: Who would take care of Nolan if the appointed guardian died? Who would take care of him if the second relative also died?
They wonder if Neena and Nolan were infected in mid-February, when they both had low fevers, body aches and dry coughs. Neena acknowledged that this could be “wishful thinking.”